This is my first time blogging. Funny, I was so anxious to start this. I was bursting with rants and views, opinions and secret revelations; now I can't think of a single one. I haven't read any other blogs, except my neice's ultra cool writings of the little girl who's haunting their home--complete with pictures from the scene of the apparition.
For me, I suppose, I've thought of blogging as a diary that others can read, and so that's how I'm going to continue. I live alone, and too often find I talk to myself--always followed by a frightened little, self-depreciating giggle: Yikes. Old. I'm getting old. Sad that, most times, what I have to say is profound or funny--but I'm the only one who got to hear it. Not that I'm a brilliant bundle of wisdom or anything, but I have been through a lot in my life. I have good stuff to say, damnit! ;)
Shit, I just rememberd: today is my 28th wedding anniversay--or would've been. I don't miss being married; that's a lie. I miss having a warm somebody in my bed. I've been alone now for 4 years and I still wake in the blue moments of morning and reach under the covers for that warm back. And he would snuggle against me, spooning even as he slept. I miss cooking dinner and hearing his car pull in the driveway, me feeling a little thrill and peace that he's home.
Still, there at the end, his car in the drive made me feel like a little girl in trouble. When daddy got home, I was gonna get a whippin'. I didn't get a whippin', but I got silence. A love-less brush of a kiss against my cheek, more out of habit than affection. So, I suppose, I'm better off. No, I know I am.
At 56, many younger people may think that people my age don't think about making love, or intimacy, tender touches and that kind of small talk that two people share at the end of the day. But we do. It fills a life. And when it's gone, TV is a cold substitute. Bedtime is something I dread, but my dreams are vivid home movies of the past; waking up makes me sad. Another day begins.
Don't be lonely! You have so many people to talk to and lots to say! Hell, I want to hear your funny stuff, your sad stuff, your happy stuff...all yer stuff! Think of this exactly as you do - an online place to write stuff down, to get it out. This IS what you need. It's a place to burn thoughts without writing another book!
ReplyDeleteWorth noting here - check out a few blogs that I follow - mainly "Raising Rabat" and "Utterly Random by Jules". I started my blog after reading my cousin Libby's blog "Raising Rabat" where she has been documenting her life living in Morocco for the past few years. I also found the other blog site, "Utterly Random by Jules"(who is a friend of my friend Miranda) and after reading it for the first time, was completely hooked. She is hysterical! She refers to her husband as "the tire guy" and I enjoyed hearing her daily rants. You will also see one called "Leroy's Lawn Lunacy" on there. My sister Mandie use to have this crazy lady around the corner from her house and she was a great source of hysteria. Too bad she moved away because I miss my sister's writings about the crazy old bat!
I want to hear lots and lots of funny stuff from you too! You and mama make me laugh all the time when we are together, so I know you have it in you! Did you read my other blog? I think if you read that one, you might see that our families are a huge part of the FUNNY. I think once you start getting the hang of it, you will see that you can turn the smallest thing from your sister, yourself, the girls or even people you see out and about into the subjects of your daily blog. I know that's what I do.
Above all Aunt Sheila, have fun here and get it all out! We'll have you enjoying this blog world in a matter of no time!
Happy Writing!
Love always,
T-Bone
Blogging is fun and I'm glad you've joined the blogging community Sha-loo!! I started my blog (www.headleemoments.blogspot.com) almost 2 years ago and I definitely use it as my diary. It helps me get things off my chest and also document important events in my life that I never want to forget. Lately I've been slacking and I haven't been able to update it all month but I'll get to it. It's not a chore but a quick release!
ReplyDelete((hugs)) Sha-loo I'm hear to listen to you. Even if it's through your writing.